If we are all love and all one, then it seems obvious that our souls are connected through a pure love connection. It also makes sense that we would experience a stronger set of emotions with those souls with whom we have many interactions with (soul family) since we are so deeply connected.
I propose that this love exists in its intensity prior to actions we may take to realize it in the now of this life we are living. Those with whom we have strong feelings for (negative or positive) are ones that can be seen as our soul family. They are connected to us deeply… so deep that they awaken our inner light and desire for freedom and liberation, and to be loved. They push our buttons so well because they have this deep connection that bypasses our usual defences and walls.
I (like others) propose that these beings represent a message to reconnect with our own source… Since humanity is hardwired to believe that love comes from an outside source, we will (at times) only open up at all when we feel that we might be loved… might feel that re-connection. The problem that arises is that in trying to find source through another we see all the painful conditioning that we have taken on arise to the surface. We experience our pain. We want wholeness and union, but we are faced with everything that keeps us from it. Without conscious reflection and a tenacious drive to uncover truth, we may enter into the same patterns and create more suffering. But see it! Look at it, stay with it no matter what.
I believe that by returning to the feeling of love that you have (or had) with your partner brings you face to face with your power, and potentially your own stubbornness to open. This is great because it gives you the opportunity to claim responsibility and either move forward or find justifications for your decision to stay closed. Either way the option is always there. The love is primary and the pain and reactions are just the process of releasing that which is in the way of realizing an ever deepening love.
Sometimes the most loving choice is to separate and reconnect with your own being, own source, own love. We can surrender to love with anyone or with ourselves. To me this just means being totally real and totally available.